Thursday, May 1, 2008

Toots

Toots, farts, passing gas, breaking wind, cuttin' the cheese, flatulent, flutter the sheets, heiny burp, let one rip. make a stink, poot, rip one, backfire, you get the idea....

Why is it that we are all so amused by the sound of tooting (this is what my girls call it). I can hardly type this without giggling. We all do it, and if you don't then you've probably had an upset stomach most of your life from holding it in.

I have sooooooooooooooo many embarrassing stories on this topic. I'll share a few with you today....

As I mentioned above, my girls call it tooting. So imagine my surprise as we are walking down the aisle in Target last night looking for a birthday present for kiddo numero uno's best friends birthday party, and my youngest daughter shouts

"TOOTIE"

"Mommy, I TOOTIE"

How do you explain to them that this isn't really something to share with everyone at Target. My face must have turned four different shades of pink then red. We quickly finished finding our birthday present and exited the premises.

That is not my most embarrassing moment though.

One of my most embarrassing moments was when just after marrying my husband, I fell ill. I had just found out I was pregnant and he had already moved to a different state to start a new job. I was supposed to be packing our home and he would come back on the following week-end and we would move the rest of our stuff and I would join him.

I called his Mom after being up all night in excruciating pain..................I was soooo sure I was losing our baby and didn't know what to do. She rushed my to our local emergency room and after several tests we found out that I actually had pancreatitis caused by a gall stone getting stuck in my pancreas.

Because I was pregnant, they couldn't do emergency surgery, so I was admitted to the hospital for what was to be a pretty long visit. Of course, after hearing just how ill I was, my husband hurried home to be with me in the hospital.

Six days later, the rest of my family had arrived. They were supposed to help us move the rest of our stuff to the neighboring state if I could only get out of the hospital. So as they are all standing in my hospital room trying to decide what to do if I'm not released in time, the nurse walks in and says "As soon as you pass gas, we can probably let you go ahead and go. Have you passed gas today?"

No, of course not, how in the world am I supposed to pass gas with an entire room full of people, along with my new husband who I had never farted in front of. Are you kidding me?

I never was able to pass gas. At least not while I was awake.................I was probably tooting like crazy while I was sleeping. Anyway, they did finally let me go and I didn't have to pack anything in our apartment, so it all worked out in the end.

Do you have any funny gassy stories? Do you and your family think farting is as funny as I still do? How immature of me!!!

P.S. I did have to have my gallbladder removed when I was thirteen weeks pregnant, but that's a different story for a different day.

11 comments:

Meg said...

Oh, how funny! Women don't "pass gas" remember? Not when we are conscious anyway! At our house it is called "tooting" also. I like to think I have taught my family well (my kids are way older than yours) and that they always go in the bathroom to pass gas, BUT I have a sneaking suspicion it's not always that way! Get this, I had a cousin growing up whose family taught her to always pass gas when she needed to regardless of WHERE she was, just to say "Excuse me I need to toot!" She did it too, ALL the time! We would be in the middle of a conversation and she would excuse herself and do it..and I don't mean excuse herself and go into the bathroom either! I had gallstones when I was preggo too, NOT fun! I finally had my gallbladder taken our 10 years later.

Karen said...

Oh. My. Goodness. That was just hysterical. Sorry.

As the mother of 3 boys we have the fartiest stories happening daily. But because you asked I can't think of one.

LaskiGal said...

Hilarious! The best stories are tooting stories! I have SO SO MANY . . . Almost too many for one person. The ones that were most embarrassing were when my dog(s) weren't around to blame it on . . . now I have a son. Yay!!!

david mcmahon said...

Thanks for the visit and the commment. In reply to your query, I use a Pentax K100D digital camera, but some of my favourite shots have been taken with cheap point-and-shoot Instamatics.

All my lenses are Sigma lenses, the 18-125mm and the 70-300mm.

Any queries, just holler and I'll get right back to you.

This is a hilarious post. I'll think of it every time I visit a gas station!!!

Rising Rainbow said...

This seems to be a theme here lately in bloggerville. Funny how that happens. We really are obsessed.

LaskiGal said...

I just had to leave another comment. I just saw your comment on my "I Quit" post and how sweet and supportive! Thank you, thank you!!! Words like that are priceless to me.

Pony Girl said...

I am a teacher of young children so I actually do a dance with them called the "tootie-ta" if you can believe that! ;) No we don't pass gas during the song, lol! but they think the word "toot/ie" is just hilarious, of course.

Jamie said...

That's just too funny! My brother has a "gas" problem whenever he eats certain foods, sometimes he eats those foods just to annoy his fiance and the rest of us too for that matter!

P.S. If you want to play along I tagged you on my blog.

terri said...

With 3 kids, incidents of tooting never get old. My daughter is not one to let herself suffer any discomfort, so while at home she'll comfortably do what she needs to do. The boys tease her endlessly by telling her she's got a disease called flatulitis.

BrownEyed Cowgirls said...

Oh this is some funny stuff. My grandma used to crack me up when I was little. She would get up and walk to the kitchen and when she would toot(yep-we use the word too-LOL) she would blame it on the floor creaking and tell grandpa that he needed to fix it.
Us kids used to just roll.

Love your blog-Thanks for commenting on mine so I could find you.

I hate shopping for swimsuits by myself. I always make my honey come with me and then I don't have to decide. He is very good at picking out one that looks good.

Jennifer H said...

This was hilarious!

My 6 year old girl will walk across the room, climb into my lap, toot, and then hop up and go back to where she was.

I can imagine the embarrassment in that hospital room!

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